Broken Love
by ErinGoesRawr
Summary: "Me and you, we're the same. You just don't know it yet" Rachel Grimes will do anything to keep her little boy safe, even if that means sticking with the one handed Merle Dixon \/ Merle X OC \/
1. Names & Pains

**Got the idea watching Supernatural.**

Rick clutched his wife's cheek which were stained with tears and planted a kiss on the tip of her nose. He looked down towards his son who was grabbing his leg and laughed with joy. "I knew I'd find you, I knew it. The photo album's, they were all gone" He explained. Lori simply smiled, her hands tightening on his shoulders. She took in every detail of his face. He was alive and breathing, not dead in some hospital.

Rick looked past Lori, looked around this camp. His eyes landed back on her, a confused and worried Rick looked at her "Rachel?" He asked, wondering why his eldest daughter was not here to greet him.

Lori bit her bottom lip and sighed, pulling back from her husbands grasp and taking her hands back, she looked down towards the ground, not able to string together any words.

"We went to get her" Shane gulped, walking forward "Went to her apartment but..." He ran ran his hands through his curly hair "I'm sorry man"

Rick stumbled back. She was dead? She couldn't be... But why would Lori his wife, Shane his best friend.. His brother, Lie to him? Rick placed both hands over his eyes and dropped onto the ground, not being able to keep his legs standing strong anymore. His only daughter was gone, and he didn't even get to say goodbye.

Rachel pulled the curtain back slightly and glanced out the dusty window, She had to go out on a supply run soon but the street's were crawling with corpses. She turned her head back towards the kitchen of the small house's kitchen and sighed. The food in that fridge would last maybe two days tops. She let go of the fabric and the curtain fell back into place over the window and walked over to the couch and threw herself down and let her dark brown hair fall over her face.

"MOM!" She groaned and blew hair out of her mouth, sending some of the strands to the side. She was so hoping to just fall asleep on the couch but sleep is never an option when your a mother. Rachel stood up and headed up the stairs. She put on a happy face before opening the bedroom door and looking towards her little boy Thomas. "Look mom" He held up a piece of paper proudly "Its you, Me and grandpa" She smiled as she walked over. She took the picture from his tiny hands and sat beside him, crossing her legs.

"It's great baby" She told him as her eyes wandered all over the paper. The first stick figure which was blue had a sheriff hat and a yellow badge so she assumed that was her dad. The next little figure was red and had a blue cape, that was Thomas. He loved super hero's so it didn't surprise her when he drew himself as one. Then the last one was purple and had long brown waves falling from it's head and a pretty smile drawn on her face. Rachel didn't smile anymore, she used to but not now, any smile she did was for her son, he was the only thing that made her happy now. She had no one else but him.

Rachel ruffled his blonde hair and stood back up "Hey Thomas, wanna help me make dinner?"

The little boy's face beamed as he jumped up and grabbed his mother's hand, basically dragging her downstairs. Only Thomas would be this excited about doing something as simple as Dinner. All you had to do was watch the pot of beans until it heated up.

Thomas ran into the kitchen and pulled out a can of beans from the fridge and then ran back towards Rachel who had just made it towards the living room. She didn't have her son's energy, he got that from his dad. She caught the can and turned it until she could see the label "Beans... again?" The little boy nodded, causing Rachel to huff. They have had beans every night this week. There was peaches and meatballs in there but no, Thomas loves baked beans. Rachel was so glad that this was the last can.

"Is it ready yet?" Thomas asked for the 100th time. Rachel shook her head and chuckled

"Not yet Tommy" Thomas sighed and crossed his arms, swinging his legs off the ledge of the counter.

"When will it be ready?" Rachel handed him the wooden spoon and took a step back, resting her palms on the cold metal of the kitchen sink

"When its starts to bubble" Thomas looked at the spoon in his hands then back up to his mother who laughed "Go on chef, stir it"

The little boy beamed once again as he got up on his knee's and leaned over the pot and dunked the spoon in, stirring it in a circular motion. After awhile it started bubbling rapidly and Thomas tried to lift it up by the base of the pot to pour the beans into their bowls, Rachel wasn't quick enough to stop him burning his hand.

Rachel looked up from her bowl and to her son who was happily eating away with his bandaged hand, not even phased. She sighed and began eating again.

After Dinner, Thomas fell asleep almost straight away which she was glad for. She really could not handle another game of Monopoly with that boy. She was sure he cheated every time. Either that or she was just at that board game. She hadn't even realised how light Thomas was until she picked him up to take him to bed, probably cause of the little amount of food they were getting. Rachel had maybe lost a few pounds aswell but she would be fine. She would start giving Thomas most of her share of food starting tomorrow.

Rachel carefully lay him down in the right side of the double bed and pulled the covers over his tiny body. She walked over to the nightstand and pulled open the drawers and started looking through the clothes that were left. Anything felt better than what she was wearing. A band shirt and a pair of black shorts and trainers weren't exactly ideal for this situation.

Rachel pulled out a a pair of ripped, light blue jeans and a red flannel shirt that had a gray hood attached. Who would leave clothes like this behind? Rachel flew them on the chair that sat in the corner of the room.

She walked to the edge of the bed and climbed in. Once her head was rested on the pillow and she felt her son's head roll onto her upper arm, she started feeling relaxed, even with all the dangerous thoughts that kept entering her head. The only thing that she did think about was the fact she had no idea where her father was or what he was doing... that was if he woke up from the hospital. She was planning on visiting the day it happened, but the army started barging through the streets, so she packed up and took her and Thomas as far away from downtown Atlanta as she could. After about a day they came across these nice houses. Thomas picked the one on the end, said it reminded him of a house from a story she read him once. Every house seriously looked the same but she didn't say anything.

"Night mom" She heard a tired voice say. Rachel shook her head and chuckled, he must not of been fully asleep.

"Night baby" She smiled and brushed a hand through his hair before falling asleep herself

**%_%**

It had been a month now since the outbreak, near enough a month since Merle arrived at Woodbury, since officer friendly forced him to cut of his own hand. Atleast he got this cool upgrade. He had been sent out to raid a couple houses Martinez spotted on a previous scouting trip.

Merle stopped his new ride the had been given outside the last house on the street. He stepped out and took some weapons from the bed of the pickup and headed towards the stairs of the house. He just wanted to go to sleep, it was late and he didn't have to be back for a couple days. That's when he noticed biters heading his way.

Merle walked with confidence towards the group of biters that were at the bottom of the street. It was such a hot night, he was pretty jealous of the fact they couldn't feel anything. That's probably why he enjoyed slashing those assholes the fuck up with his bayonet hand.

Once every last dead one was done, he made his way up the porch steps and inside the nice looking home. He pulled his pistol out from the back of his belt and held it up as he explored the bottom level of the house. The living room was empty, though that couch looked comfy as hell. The kitchen had some cans of food, one can of beans that might come in handy if he gets hungry.

He walked into the Dinning room, freezing when he saw two bowls sat on the table. He picked one up and examined it's contents. Smelled like beans. Was there people here? He quietly sat the bowl down and looked up towards the ceiling. They must be sleeping... Stupid fucks

Merle cautiously walked up the stairs, being careful to not make the wood creak. He opened the first door he came across. It was a kids room. There were crayons and bits of paper all over the floor. He stepped in, one drawing catching his eye. He picked up the paper and looked at it. Some kid had drawn his family. A mom, the kid and a granddad. Merle chuckled slightly as the granddad reminded him of officer friendly... oh the things he was going to do to that son of a bitch if he ever saw him again.

He walked into the next room. Bathroom, nothing special. The next room he walked into was pretty big and comfy looking. Nice big mirrors, chairs and a sweet looking double bed that he would love to pass out on.

"Huh" Merle licked his lips as he spotted two figures sprawled out on the bed. One was a young boy, maybe 4 or 5. The other was a pretty little thing in her 20's.

He kneeled down next to her sleeping body and started stroking her cheek with his blade, trying to wake her up. As soon as her eyes opened her shoved his hand over her mouth.

Rachel tried to keep calm as this man held his hand which smelt fucking terrible over her mouth. She started slowly moving her hand under her pillow where she kept her knife. Once she felt it in her grasp she started to feel a little better, knowing she could probably stab him if he tried anything.

"Now, ah'm gonna take ma hand away now"

This was her chance. His dirty hand left her mouth and she pounced. She rolled onto him, attempting to shove the blade in his face, but he was fast, too fast. He grabbed her wrist and rolled her over and started slamming her hand into the floor until she let go.

"Nice try freckles" He grinned as he stood himself back up, pulling her with him and pushing her towards the door. Rachel restrained, not wanting to go anywhere. Merle sighed "Come on Freckles, Ah don't wanna have to carry ya out"

Rachel started walking. Not because he asked her to, because she didn't want to wake up Thomas. He seemed so peaceful.

Rachel walked down the stairs, This man following her. He had heavy steps and smelled like cigarettes and beer... oh she could go with some smokes right now.

"Sit" Merle spoke as he pushed her on the couch.

"What do you want?" Rachel asked, getting annoyed

"Jus' a chat" Merle leaned himself against the wall and looked at her. Damn she was pretty. Nice long hair that would feel soft balled up in his hands.

Rachel leaned leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knee's "What? You brought me down here to talk about the weather?" She grinned

Merle narrowed his eyes, a smirk growing on his face "Just gonna ask ya some question's is all"

Rachel sighed "Go on then"

"Whats your name Freckles?"

"Rachel... Rachel Grimes"

**I might continue, I might not. Depends on what you guys think.**

**Follow/Favourite is you want to see more and please review or pm me to say what you like/didn't like about the story**


	2. Nightmares

_Thomas sat on the carpet playing with his new train set that had been bought for his birthday. Rachel stood in the kitchen, adding last minute details to his Marvel birthday cake. She always wanted to be an artist but she had to give it up after Thomas was born. Decorating his cake and posters for his bedroom wall is the closest she'll ever get now._

"_Daddy!" She heard Thomas yell from the living room. She chuckled, He's finished work early. Rachel took off her apron and pulled her bobble out, letting her hair fall and rest on her shoulders. Rachel then added the third candle and picked the cake up and headed towards where her family was._

"_Was wondering where you where" Shane smirked as he looked up from the floor where he sat with his son who was waiting for him to start playing trains with him again._

"_You think I would miss my only sons third birthday? Not a chance" Rachel smiled as she sat down next to them, setting the cake infront of Thomas who looked at it with complete joy. He had his mother and his father sitting on either side of him, smiling aswell and that's all he wanted. _

_After Thomas had blown out all his candles, opened all his presents and lost at quite a few tickle matches, He passed out on the floor._

_Rachel pulled the covers down on his bed and sat the teddies on the floor as Shane lay his body down carefully on the mattress and then they both made sure he was good before quietly closing the bedroom door._

"_I think we should celebrate" Shane grabbed her waist and pulled her close to his body and looked down at her, grinning_

"_And why is that?" She smiled as she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck_

"_Because" He leaned his head down so their temple's were touching "... I feel like it" He planted a kiss on her lips before letting go off his grasp on her and turning her around to face the kitchen door "Now go get the wine women"_

_Rachel giggles as she hops off into the kitchen. Once inside and the door closes behind her she exhales deeply, letting go of the breath she had been holding. God she hated being all preppy and excited, but if it made Shane and Thomas happy then that's all that mattered._

_She crouched down and opened the fridge and traced her fingers over everything she came across until she felt the cool sensation from the wine bottle. She grabbed it and pulled it out, standing up she closed the fridge with her foot and headed out of the small kitchen._

_As soon as Rachel opened the door, the atmosphere changed. It wasn't happy anymore. She felt scared and sore. Rachel glanced down at her body, The wine was gone and her hair was longer. She was no longer wearing the orange floral dress that her father bought her. Now she was wearing black shorts and a red tank, showing fresh bruises all over. She looked back around the room, it was different aswell..._ _wait, She doesn't decorate the place like this for another year. _

"_Thomas..." She whispers. A year later... that's when... "THOMAS!" She screamed as she ran towards her sons bedroom and grabs the handle and pushes it down but the door stayed firmly shut. Rachel then starts banging on the door with her fists as hard as she can "THOMAS!"  
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_A blood curdling scream then pierces the air... It was Thomas. It was starting. This is the time when Shane started becoming violent. Rachel was used to being hit by now, she could take it... But this night, Shane hurt Thomas and... and she couldn't stop it._

"_STOP SCREAMING!" She could hear Shane yelling at him, then a loud bang followed and that's when the screaming stopped_

"_THOMAS!"_

Merle stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up with a tired look. Grimes has been screaming and making all sorts of noises for about ten minutes now and he still couldn't decide if he should go up or not. Mostly because Rachel said if he did go upstairs while they were asleep, she would cut his balls off and feed them to him. While he highly doubted she could or would, his hunter skills always told him to never mess with a mama or her cubs... screw it.

Merle grabbed onto the banister and flung himself up the stairs, his feet making a bang every time they hit the floor. He was very tired and this shit was annoying and he just needed to get some sleep since he was leaving in the morning

Merle slowly pushed the bedroom door open and walked in. The little kid was sitting against the left wall, watching his mom thrash around in the bed sheets. He walked over and kneeled infront of the little boy. "What's up with yer mama?" Thomas looked around to his mother then back to the man "Nightmares" He spoke quietly. Kid was clearly just as tired as he was.

Merle exhaled deeply and stood back up and looked back towards the door. He could either A) Go back down stairs and shove the pillow she gave him over his head and hope for the best, leaving the kid up here to watch his mama; Or B) Take the kid into the next room and try to shut his mama the fuck up

He thought for a moment. A seemed like the best option in this case. This was not his problem, so the chick had nightmares boo-hoo. That's her issue not his. Merle looked back down at the kid cowering in the corner. When he kneeled down infront of him and looked into his eyes, He saw Daryl looking back at him as a scared little kid... Guess it's option B

"C'mon" He grumbled as he headed towards the door. Merle looked back, his hand holding the door handle. The kid was staring back at him but not moving.

"Ah said c'mon kid" Thomas held his arms out, wanting Merle to carry him.

Merle shook his head, narrowing his eyes "No" He said firmly. That was not Merle's kid and even if it was he still wouldn't hold him. Merle does not like children and normally they do not like him. Course most kids he had met had already been told the story of the big bad wolf Merle Dixon and to never go near him.

Thomas kept his ground, keeping his arms raised and widening his eyes like a puppy "Please" He stuck out his bottom lip. Damn this kid was getting on his nerves just like Daryl did at that age, constantly begging for Merle to do everything for him. Why are kids so fucking needy?

Merle took a breath and walked over, scooping the boy up in his arms he headed back towards the door. He felt Thomas bury his face in his neck, he could also feel the victory grin of the young boy. Had he really just gave in to a 5 or 4 year old? God fucking... He's gonna have to kill a dog or something to balance this out.

He opened the door to the kids room and walked in and sat the little boy on the train bed who huffed as soon as he hit the mattress "I hate Thomas The Tank Engine" Thomas crossed his arms.

"He hates ya too. now stay in here and Ah dunno... Draw or somethin'" Merle closed the door and let out a breath he had no idea he was holding... God he hated kids. Daryl basically ruined them for him since he had to take care of his worthless ass until he was 18.

Merle walked into the master bedroom where Rachel was still thrashing around 'You got this Merle. If ya can stop Daryl havin nightmares ya can stop a complete stranger... 'cept with Daryl you knew what his nightmares were and what to say' He shakes his head, getting that last part out 'Nah, ya got this'

He sat down by her feet and turned his upper half towards her and slowly placed his hand on her shoulder to keep her still. This would be so much easier if he had both hands. Everything would be easier if he had two hands... But he really liked this replacement. Merle then started chuckling at the way he left his hand back on the roof; Shoved on a pipe with the middle finger sticking up so he was flipping of whoever found it 'Concentrate you asshole'

Merle took a breath as his hand gripped around her shoulder 'Here goes nothin' he thought. Merle carefully stroked her forehead, brushing the sweat and hair away as he did so. 'If only Darlena could see me now' He thought as he started softly hushing the girl. "Everythin' gonna be alright ya here me" He said "As long as ol' Merle is here, nothin' can hurt ya or that boy"

Slowly but surely, Rachel started quieting down and her hitched breathing was becoming more normal "That's it freckles" He grinned "Jus' a bad dream is all"

Rachel then just stopped like everything was fine and that was good enough for Merle. He might actually sleep tonight.

Rachel sat up in bed and squinted her eyes as the sunlight seeped through the curtains and into her vision. She held her hand up and looked to her left "Thomas?" He wasn't there. She got up and walked out and into the kids bedroom and opened the door and peeked her head in "Thomas?" She spoke again, a little more panicked this time. The boy wasn't up stairs.. He's gotta be downstairs... No he wouldn't without her.

Rachel ran downstairs "THOM-" She stopped at the fifth step from the bottom and looked at the scene infront of her. There was Thomas, sitting with his legs crossed in the living room carpet, A monopoly board infront of him and a shit ton of money on his side... And on the other was Merle with little money and an angry expression plastered on his face as he moved 3 places, landing on Mayfair which had a hotel on it.

"Pay" Thomas held his hand out flat, waiting for Merle to hand over his 2000 monopoly bucks.

Merle grumbled something before picking up all the money he had and counting it out as he placed one note after the other in the childs hand "Ah only got 500"

"Then I guess you'll have to give me some of those cards" He nodded his head towards Merle's property cards. There was only 5.

"Which ones?" Merle narrowed his eyes, not wanting to part with any of them

"Railtracks" Merle reacted as if he had just been punched in the face. He had every single railway which he was pretty proud of... Or was until Thomas never landed on them.

Merle still refused to give up. He was NOT loosing to a 5 year old at fucking Monopoly. He calmly handed over the four cards and watched Thomas take his next turn. He rolled a 5 and moved the exact spaces he had to, landing on start and he happily took his 200 bucks... Not like he needed anymore money. Then Merle took his turn and moved 8 steps like the dice said and landed on the chance. He picked up the card, hoping it to be something good.

_Go straight to Jail_

"Fuck sake" He muttered under his breath as he moved the hat into Jail and let Thomas roll. He landed on kings street... Of course he would land on it after Merle gave him the property. Merle then took his turn, he had to get a double. He rolled once. 5 and a 2. He rolled a second time. 6 and a 1. He then rolled the last time he could. 7 and a 3. "Motherfucker" He looked down at where their used to be money.

Thomas laughed "I win"

"How tha hell do ya win? Ah could pay with this" He held up his only property card

"No you can't, you can only pay with Money" Thomas retorted

"Then why tha hell did ya make me give you the railway's"

Thomas shrugged and stood up "Wanted you to play longer" He then turned and walked off into the kitchen, probably going to eat some of those candy bars that were just sitting in the fridge.

"I see you stayed" Merle turned his head and looked up at Rachel who was stepping forward, still not quite sure what she just watched. Considering the conversation her and Merle had last night, she did not think for even a second that he would play a board game... especially with a little boy that may or may not cheat.

Merle pushed himself off the carpet and stretched, moving his shoulders and head around. Now he remembers why he doesn't sit on floors... Hurts like fuck.

"Well... Ah would of if that little boy didn't bet me he could beat me at Monopoly"

"What did you bet?"

"Two candy bars" He grinned as he sat himself on the couch, leaning his head on the back off it and taking a deep breath. Why the hell didn't he sit here and play, get a table infront to put the board on or something... God that would of been so much better.

Rachel sighed and leaned herself against the wall, crossing her arms across her chest, she looked down at the floor. Was he actually going to leave or just sit there having a couchgasm.

"Wanna talk 'bout it?" Rachel glanced up and looked at Merle who was now looking at her. Seriously what the fuck. One minute he was the sarcastic douchebag that you don't mess with and the next he was playing board games with her son and asking her if she was okay.

"Talk about what?" She looked back down

"Yer nightmare"

Rachel shook her head, He wouldn't understand if she did "Isn't important"

"That's where yer wrong Freckles... My baby brother used to get nightmares 'bout our ol' man. Never pushed him ta talk 'bout it, but when he didn't it really fucked him up... worrying 'bout somethin' that aint ever gonna happen again"

Rachel really didn't like this... He was making a surprising amount of sense. Atleast she think's he is. Rachel was not up for talking about her past with a stranger that she just met last night because he intruded her home... Well it isn't really her home but still.

Then again it would be nice to get it off her chest. Maybe just give him a few not so detailed details. Merle was the only other person she had talked too in a month that wasn't a child... Well maybe more than a month. She never really left her apartment before unless she was taking Thomas to school or she was visiting her father in hospital.

Rachel walked over and sat next to Merle. Why the hell was she doing this...

"It was about my ex-boyfriend, Thomas' father. It started off normal. It was Thomas' third birthday... Then it was a year later and I heard Thomas screaming. His dad had started hitting me which I was used to cause of my mom who blamed me for my dad leaving... But that night" She could already feel her fear and guilt returning "He hurt Thomas and... I couldn't stop it"

"What's his name... Tommy's ol' man?" Merle asked, not like he would ever meet the sonuvabitch that hurt his own kid.

Rachel snorted and rubbed her eyes "Shane..." She turned her head to face him "Shane Walsh"

Merle's eyes widened... Shane Walsh. He always knew there was something wrong with that asshole. Now he really wished he had kicked that guys ass when he had the chance.

"What?" Rachel asked, her head tilted in confusion

"Was in a group with him. He was a real asshole. His wife Lori was a bitch aswell"

Rachel felt her heart pang "Did she have a son?" Merle nodded. Rachel felt anger rise up in her. There was a reason Merle thought Lori and Shane were married... She should of fucking known. Rachel stood up and started pacing the room. She always suspected Lori was fucking Shane behind her dad's back but now it was confirmed. Shane probably told her Rick was dead so he could officially have her.. God they probably kissed with people watching. She felt like she was going to be sick... Ugh she hated that women even more now.

"Shane isn't Married to Lori!" Merle looked at her, this time he was the confused one

"My dad is"

**%_%**

Lori watched as her husband played with Carl. He was so happy to have his father back, but she could tell he missed Rachel also and she hated it. She looked back up to Shane who was pacing backwards and forwards with his hands in his face

"Her and her kid are probably dead now anyway... He wont find out" Lori tried to reassure him. Shane shook his head and stopped and looked at her, placing both hands on his hips as he did so.

"I got a bad feelin' Lori"

Lori raised a brow as she stood up and walked infront of him, a stern look on her face now "She's dead and so is that brat of a kid" Shane narrowed his eyes, that was his son she was talking about.

"You hated that kid aswell so don't even start with that bullshit Shane" Shane sighed and looked over at Rick... He didn't mind lying to Lori but Rick? No that felt wrong... especially about his eldest daughter and grandson.

Rick sat on a stump watching Carl show him all the new rope ties that Shane had shown him in his absence. Noticing his father wasn't entirely focused, he changed the subject and sat down the ropes. "Do you think Rachel and Thomas are in heaven?"

Rick's head shot up, his eyes red. He still couldn't get over that fact she was dead. Carl looked at his father with as much concern as an eleven year old could. It seemed to be enough to snap Rick out of whatever trance he was in. Rick gulped and nodded his head lightly, pulling his son into a hug that Rick needed.

"Course they are son... Course they are"

**The first chapter got a pretty positive response so I got this chapter up as quick as I could. Pretty proud of it actually :33**

**Follow/Favourite if you want to see more and review or PM me to tell me what you liked/didn't like about this chapter or the story in general.**

**~Erin**


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